4 (four) oblong slices of Seven Stars Bakery Durham Stick
1 tub of Virginia & Spanish Co. Brown Bear Peanut Butter
1 jar Bonne Maman Raspberry Preserves
1 tub Philadelphia Whipped Cream Cheese, Chive
1 tub Smart Balance Whipped Low Sodium Buttery Spread (for your health)
1 laptop
1 internet signal (pilfered or purchased)
2 cats
You will:
1. Brown bread slices in toaster oven, until sufficiently toasted.
2. Slather one slice with cream cheese.
3. Glob peanut butter all over second slice.
4. Spread Smart Balance liberally on third slice.
5. Smother preserves across remaining slice.
6. While toast is heating up the toppings, open your laptop and cue last night's episode of 30 Rock on Hulu.
7. Recline with slices and laptop.
8. Eat cream cheese-topped slice first: it is the most savory and should be entirely consumed before embarking upon Dessert (parts i-iii)
9. Laugh at the stupid thing Tracy Jordan/Jenna Maroney just said.
10. Alternate subsequent bites between preserves, peanut butter, and Smart Balance.
11. Remark to yourself how talented Tina Fey is.
12. Final bite...your choice.
13. Let cats lick plate.
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